A REPORT – PARENTING STYLE & ITS EFFECTS ON KIDS!
This is a report on Parenting Styles & Its effects on Kids!
Satyam Khanna
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THE INDIAN TEEN LIFE = MOM + POP + SELF + A DIGITAL SELF!
Current Indian Teenlife
The current Indian teenage culture is not much different than that of a teenager from developed nation, simply because majority of indian teen population who are potentially born after 1997 hold a smart device in their hand, they have a digital life, a universe which comprises of secrecy, strong security, even a language of its own.
Teens have their own universe, teens who have a digital life can also groom a lot, they become efficient in Information technology, they even groom in certain areas (may be increase in intelligence) when spending more time in front of the screen, but then it comes along with some drawbacks as well.
Mom’s are concerned, majority of them are not very tech savvy, this population of mom’s often are the ones who are not the cool types, they wish to instill some sense (which they feel is the real sense) in their child, they mainly try to communicate: – keep up with your grades, when ever I see you I see you on your phone, why are you not eating properly etc etc.
Father’s and Indian teen life
Fathers step in the hard way, they want to get things done and the then again those who are not cool types, they come down very harshly on these teens, their data points are derived from what mother tell them. Its a mess and in majority cases the teens and their mom’s do not get along well.
The teen takes suggestions, advise, routes, future prospects and everything from what the digital universe has to say! This universe is their best friend, it’s their counselor and their place of tranquility.
The Nagging Society that Indian teenlife is engulfed in
Parents are driven by the society they live in, they are influenced via close and distant relatives, friends of friends and even acquaintances of friends of friends, be it following a new tradition or changing overall perspective with regards to taking decision.
These parents did not grow up with a digital world in their life, information from their surroundings plays an important role, parents of teens wish to make informed decisions more than ever and not base out educational & life decisions of their child on what their friend’s children accomplish but such children at times tend to set the benchmark of academic success and often become the comparison models to most kids.
With inaccurate data, the parent is bound to make wrong decisions (as the teen validates out rightly), no matter how hard they try but they will get hit by the “blame bomb”, its their fault and to a great extent it truly is!
Parenting Systems and Indian teenlife
Parenting lacks proper organized systems, steps to manage their lives, to monitor child continuously, to minimize the noise, to understand the digital universe language, to be ignorant of how effective communication has to be done and to identify their child’s overall DIGITAL SELF!
Lack of smooth communication among Indian teenlife
Ok, so to parents, Relax and build up your focus, see if the child has issues with regards to social skills, executive functions or academics, observe any issues that you see! It is often that there is no issue with the child and that it might only be the unknown of the DIGITAL world and the same is not interpreted correctly by the parent.
Accepting the DIGITAL SELF of your child may not be bad after all! HOWEVER if you, as a parent see that you child is glued to his mobile & video gaming console or electronic device and it is hindering with his daily tasks then he/she might be addicted, in that case get some knowledge from the below link.
WHAT IS BEHIND A SUCCESSFUL TEEN? SIMPLE – A UNITED PARENT!
Covid 19 compelled teenagers to spend more time with parents, schools were shut, outings were limited, isolation was prominent but this should have given more time for parents to interact with their teens, this period should have been an opportunity to connect, discuss, reason and build upon a child’s future! Some parents console themselves that their child is not able to have any activity, no social life (apart from e-life), so they are anyhow not cheerful and hence cannot indulge in any sort of planning let alone 10 minutes talk.
Some teenager just won’t listen or respond to their parents, how can parents really fulfil their parenting responsibilities, when there
is just no communication at all? Irritation, Anxiety, stubbornness, pride, over-confidence, being lazy, not sticking to a healthy diet, being hyper, unproductive behavior and above all COMMUNICATION GAP is what many parents and teenagers struggle to overcome. So what could be
some factors which might widen the communication gap?
A. THE BLAME GAME:
Teen BLAME Parents and Parents BLAME Teen! Heck – Parent BLAME each other….Grandparents also get a piece of it at times…..It is very common for Parent to GIVE UP on their teens, setting aside couple differences and UNITING in their thought process will DEVLOP CHANNELS OF COMMUNICATION with their TEEN!
B. UNENDING PARENT’S PETTY FIGHTS:
It is common for parents to argue, when a common ground is not achieved by parents and they are not able to work out their differences, the child learns and learn well from a young age, petty fights are not rare, they become part of the daily lifestyle. Teen at times may respond on a serious topic in a petty fight tone!
C. MOTHER’S FEAR & ANXIETY:
If my child does not get good grades, does not do well, what will the society feel? What will relatives say? He has to generate a good name for himself, if this is not achieved then nothing is accomplished. Concerns with mothers can be so high that all they talk to their teens is on the topic of academics, success, life skills and examples of other kids.
D. FATHER HAS NO TIME:
Factory, finances, liabilities, banking, notices, wages, expenses, meetings……….no time at all to get involved as the burden of lively
hood is on father’s shoulder. Great Excuse!
E. THE UNHEALTHY FOOD – (Mr. Zoomato & Mr. Swiggy):
The hyper food factories, available at low cost, a click away, out goes healthy food from kitchen, when the body is busy digesting adulterated unhealthy food, then what time will the mind have for any discussions on building relationship and working towards quality communications.
F: THE UNKNOWN TEEN PROBLEM:
No one knows what it is, but this unknown is the reason why the child HATES his family members, specially the mom!
Parents are the first level Counselor, in a busy and noisy data driven world, they cannot afford to be uninformed, building up communication is the best way to counsel any child, but this can be effectively achieved when done as a team.